I was going through my Facebook feed and someone posted in one of the Fitness Groups I’m part of asking for tips on how to keep motivated. This got my wheels turning and I began to question my source of motivation. I wish I was able to answer that question with one sentence or even a paragraph, but it goes in much deeper than that and involves a variety of answers that ultimately lead me to keep going. Here is a brief list of some of my personal motivators:
Fear - I think this is one of my biggest motivators because I am absolutely terrified of going back to where I was before, not only physically but most importantly mentally. This fear drives me to get up every morning and do the best I can.
My Kids - As a mother, I want what is best for my two children, I want them to be successful and to live a great quality of life. Because I want this for them I know how important it is to lead by example and to show them what a healthy lifestyle can do for their lives.
Diabetes - Ahhh the big D! This is most certainly a big motivator for me because it affects everything in my body. The effects of this horrible disease keep me going because I do not want to end up without a limb or in a bed unable to function. I do not want to place that kind of burden on my family.
Freedom - After beginning my healthy lifestyle even before I lost any weight I felt fantastic, I felt in control, I was freed. When I was not eating healthy, I felt tired all the time, going to the bathroom was painful, I was unable to function as a normal human being because of the limitations I placed on myself by living an unhealthy lifestyle. My life was full of darkness, depression, sadness, self pity and it was all tied into what I ate. I know this may sound bizarre to you but I am a true believer that what you put in your body has everything to do with how it functions.
My husband - My bad eating almost destroyed my marriage. When I first met my husband I was not overweight, not skinny either but not as big as I got after I had my daughter. My weight made me depressed, insecure, clingy, possessive, jealous and did I mention insecure? lol. I became a different person, unable to make even the smallest decisions on my own, unable to enjoy life to its fullest potential. Things have changed a lot now, I love who I am and what I look like, I love taking pictures, I am the real me again and it has strengthened our relationship a great deal. Relationships are difficult enough as it is without adding all that baggage I was carrying with me both mentally and physically. My husband and I are always working on our relationship but it is now on a leveled playing field, we are playing our roles as equals and that makes the world of difference.
Relationships - It is amazing what insecurity can do to relationships in general, wether it was with the closest members of my family or just friends I became somewhat of a puppet. I allowed people in my life to treat me as they pleased because after all who was I right? I was nothing, I was less, I was weak. Therefore, I allowed toxic relationships in my life because I did not feel worthy of anything different always playing the role of the martyr, the victim. I don’t ever want to go back to that place where I had no control of not only myself but of they way others treated me, it was a sad way to live and my pain was genuine, nevertheless self inflicted. I love to watch how it all unfolds now, how just with the fact that I have changed ME has also changed the way others treat me. This is powerful in more ways that I can even explain, no words necessary, no cursing, no fighting just the fact that having control of my life is so apparent that it automatically changes the dynamic of my relationships and that makes me very happy.
The Selfie - I lost so much during my destructive years and one of the big things was captured memories, I hated taking pictures, I hated looking at myself in pictures or even in the mirror, I hated the person I had become. Fast forward to now boy has that changed, perhaps I take way too many selfies now but thats ok. I am very comfortable in my own skin, I love to see pictures of myself now and I would not change it for anything in the world.
With so many factors fueling my motivation, its very difficult to narrow it down to a list. I guess the best way to sum it up is to say that my motivation is the fact that I love my life too much now to ever go back to who I was before. Having said that, I still have challenges, tough days and more to experience and to grow but I love to actually live my life and not just exist.
Go and find the true you, the one that has been hiding under the fat, under the diabetes, under the insecurities. Go out and begin to live your life, I promise you you will not regret it.
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